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Smooch 11/05/2009
Categories: Vegetarian, Coffee & Tea, Wine Bars, Vegan
Neighborhood: Fort Greene
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264 Carlton Ave
Brooklyn, NY 11205
(718) 624-4075 |
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If you want to get a guaranteed kiss on a first date, read very carefully...
I've been spying on a few players who brought their A-game to the table and here's how they do it in 10
simple steps:
1) Shower
2) Dress clean and casual. Don't forget to put on some pants
3) Tell your date to meet you for drinks or coffee, or both, at Smooch
4) Greet date inside the small but intimate cafe with a kiss on the cheek and their favorite flower (or dozen of them)
6) Snag one of the elevated corners, especially the side with the sofa and cowhide walls. Laugh over the creative
names on their menu
6) LADIES FIRST, Or Queens for my sexy brethren. Allow her to order anything she wants. Make sure you bring extra $
because some of the items are clearly overpriced. If she is a vegetarian or vegan, it won't spoil the night here
because they have delicious alternatives just for her. If she's hungry for meat besides yourself, suggest a "Let's Be
Nice To Everyone Except The Assholes Who've Trashed Us On Yelp" Sandwich Of Harmony
7) GENTLEMEN SECOND. Order an alcoholic beverage for yourself. Get a beer ($5-7) to look casual or a glass of wine
if she is more "sophisticated"
8) TALK. The food may take 10-15 minutes since they prepare it as it is ordered (or certain staff may be distracted,
which they are famous for here) so ask her how her day went. Nod a lot. Talk about random things like books you're
reading at the moment, her dreams, new shows, the neighborhood. Nonchalantly point out that HBO filmed parts of
their new show "Bored to Death" in this very cafe/winebar, you know-it-all stud you!
9) EAT. When the food arrives, observe the moment of silence as she devours it. It might be the only chance you get.
Chew with your mouth closed and swallow before you speak to save any future embarrassment
10) WRAP IT UP. Pay on your way out and grab her hand as you walk out the door while continuing your conversation.
Put your coat over her shoulders to warm her up and walk towards the park on DeKalb. Stop her in front of the tree
by the benches outside the cafe and give her a firm but soft kiss
If she doesn't resist, begin to walk her towards your apartment. You might even want to go back inside to get 2 of their amazing cortados to go if you plan on staying up all night. Do stop at any of the bodegas conveniently located 2 blocks from both directions on DeKalb for any of your last minute needs such as milk, cookies, eggs, condoms, or Little Debbie snacks so you two will not have to step out of the pad until the sun rises.
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There is nothing I love more than playing with balls. I'm not going to lie to you. I got mad play last night at Ocean's 8.
Ping Pong, arcade basketball, shumai balls, meat balls, air hockey puck (ok that's a reach), and my favorite- pool balls. There was also Baseball...in huge plasmas! "HAHAHA yahkees win, Phillies LOOSE!" I apologize if I grabbed anyone's balls by accident. There were so many bouncing around last night that I excitedly grabbed yours by mistake.
Food was plentiful and the wings were delicious! Sadly I hardly had a chance to taste them all since Mr. Jameson had me on a short leash.
Everyone was so beautiful. After the 4th cup of Jameson, I couldn't tell if I was talking to a man or woman. Who cares, everyone was hot! It was so nice to meet these studs for the first time: Payam, Andy L., Jamel O., Matteo, and Joolz' +1 so sorry I didn't catch her name but she is a great dancer. Who was that guy in the pink sweater working his Beyonce moves on the pool table? Please PM me regarding my bachelorette party.
I wish the DJ didn't keep shouting out "to all the Yelps out there." He made up for it though by playing some tracks from Dirty Dancing. Who knew there'd be some serious spanking last night...and PADDLES! It wasn't a dungeon, but a Yelp Event! That sealed the deal- I'm in love. To all those who lost to me in billiards...I know you liked it. There's plenty more where that came from ;)
The best part of the night was getting my +1 drunk and taking advantage of him. I convinced him to come home with me, where we shot balls into some pockets with our own cue sticks. Thanks Peter and Jane for another successful Yelp event!
Bookmark | Send Compliment | Send To A Friend | Link to this Review |
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Smooch 11/05/2009
Categories: Vegetarian, Coffee & Tea, Wine Bars, Vegan
Neighborhood: Fort Greene
|
264 Carlton Ave
Brooklyn, NY 11205
(718) 624-4075 |
|
If you want to get a guaranteed kiss on a first date, read very carefully...
I've been spying on a few players who brought their A-game to the table and here's how they do it in 10
simple steps:
1) Shower
2) Dress clean and casual. Don't forget to put on some pants
3) Tell your date to meet you for drinks or coffee, or both, at Smooch
4) Greet date inside the small but intimate cafe with a kiss on the cheek and their favorite flower (or dozen of them)
6) Snag one of the elevated corners, especially the side with the sofa and cowhide walls. Laugh over the creative
names on their menu
6) LADIES FIRST, Or Queens for my sexy brethren. Allow her to order anything she wants. Make sure you bring extra $
because some of the items are clearly overpriced. If she is a vegetarian or vegan, it won't spoil the night here
because they have delicious alternatives just for her. If she's hungry for meat besides yourself, suggest a "Let's Be
Nice To Everyone Except The Assholes Who've Trashed Us On Yelp" Sandwich Of Harmony
7) GENTLEMEN SECOND. Order an alcoholic beverage for yourself. Get a beer ($5-7) to look casual or a glass of wine
if she is more "sophisticated"
8) TALK. The food may take 10-15 minutes since they prepare it as it is ordered (or certain staff may be distracted,
which they are famous for here) so ask her how her day went. Nod a lot. Talk about random things like books you're
reading at the moment, her dreams, new shows, the neighborhood. Nonchalantly point out that HBO filmed parts of
their new show "Bored to Death" in this very cafe/winebar, you know-it-all stud you!
9) EAT. When the food arrives, observe the moment of silence as she devours it. It might be the only chance you get.
Chew with your mouth closed and swallow before you speak to save any future embarrassment
10) WRAP IT UP. Pay on your way out and grab her hand as you walk out the door while continuing your conversation.
Put your coat over her shoulders to warm her up and walk towards the park on DeKalb. Stop her in front of the tree
by the benches outside the cafe and give her a firm but soft kiss
If she doesn't resist, begin to walk her towards your apartment. You might even want to go back inside to get 2 of their amazing cortados to go if you plan on staying up all night. Do stop at any of the bodegas conveniently located 2 blocks from both directions on DeKalb for any of your last minute needs such as milk, cookies, eggs, condoms, or Little Debbie snacks so you two will not have to step out of the pad until the sun rises.
Bookmark | Send Compliment | Send To A Friend | Link to this Review |
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